It has been a while....

Today is exactly one month ago that I wrote my last post. I have a friend who has been asking me to post. I told her I didn't know what to post about, but that was earlier in the week. I am still not entirely sure what I am going to post on but I will just write what my heart and fingers so desire.
Well lets start by saying that I am thoroughly enjoying being in our new home. It has truely been a blessing having a home of our own again. Thank you Lord for that blessing.
I have thoroughly enjoyed watching my son in the last couple of months. He is just so full of life and energy I can't hardly keep up with him. I love to hear him say new words and phrases. It is the most enjoyable thing in the world. We have also entered into the world of discipline. He has become quite the pistol at the same time. He is constantly getting into things. He is learning what it means to be gentle. Don't bite, don't pull hair, don't push....that wasn't nice. Those are things that we are dealing with right now. He is learning what a time out is and he hates it. But I just look at him and thank God for the blessing of the little man that I have.
About 4 months ago my husband and I went through some very dark days. It was the days that we were losing our baby. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever been through personally. I cried for days on end. I got angry. I didn't understand why this was happening to us. But through it all I have never seen God like I saw him in those days and times. My Abba Father carried me like I have never been carried before. It is only because of Him that I am still standing on the other side of this miscarriage. It is because of Him that I can continue to walk.
Well a few weeks back, about 5 weeks I believe we were getting our house ready to move in to. We were setting up for painting and cleaning and everything that went with that. I had not been feeling the best for about a week. I was really tired and sick to my stomach. I knew what it was but I didn't want to admit it. I took a test and found out we are pregnant. Almost 3 months to the day that we lost our baby. I was scared and full of fear. What if I go through this all over again. I can't possibly make it through this again. Isn't this kind of quick to get pregnant after our miscarriage? I told myself that I wasn't telling anyone until I knew that everything was going to be ok. I didn't want to burden people again. I was just a burden to them 3 months ago. What were we thinking. I did tell my good friend the day after I found out because I wanted someone to know besides me and my husband. She of course became very protective of me and wouldn't let me do too much the week before our move with the painting or the day of the move except tell people where everything went. I thank God for a friend who cares so much for me that she exhausted herself on behalf of me. She just wanted me to take care of this baby that God was giving to me.
I have to say there have been lots of tears since finding out about this coming baby. I have faced many fears, worries but I just keep getting assured that everything is going to be alright this time. I am at 9 weeks pregnant now and I am starting to feel an excitement about this baby. I am scared to allow myself to get to excited because of the fear that something is going to happen again. But all I can do right now is trust God through this time and he knows what is best for this child.