Crazy Love Book......

I have been wanting to write this since I had my study with the women's group on Wednesday evening, over a week ago, but I have had very busy times and not any great amount of time to just stop and write something that is on my heart. Its just kind of been hard with the baby, canning, and juggling all things in life. So being so busy just allowed me barely enough time to get my second chapter finished. To be honest I mostly just skimmed it. I know that I should have allowed myself more time but I was procrastinating and it got me into trouble. So when we were talking about the second chapter everybody was saying how convicting it was to them. But I didn't really even catch what it was saying because I was so busy and had so little time to read it. In our time of talking people started to share little things about the chapter. As I was sitting there listening to others talk about things I was thinking about my day and remembered how Jabez came up to me and asked for water. He was so insistent that he needed water right then and there. I found it really annoying at the time but the more I thought about it the more it really hit me that just as Jabez was longing for water for his physical needs we need to be pressing into God and wanting to know him more. As we were sitting there at the end of our time and getting ready to pray I was just hit overwhelmingly by the presence of God. As I prayed I just had tears come to my eyes because of the awesomeness that God had revealed to me.
The sad thing is that over a week has gone by and I haven't really spent anymore time with God then I did previous to this revelation. I get so caught up in the day to day things of life that I just don't spend that time with him. It is so frustrating. I don't know where to turn and figure out how to do everything. If anyone has any advice for me that would be wonderful.
As I continue on this journey through this book I pray that some life changes come.

Thoughts

When I was sitting here on the couch last night feeding my baby I got to thinking about these last couple weeks of life. I started looking at all the ways my baby has changed. At his 2 week appointment he hadn't gained any weight except his birth weight back. Well in the month since then he has been eating nonstop. That would explain how he has gained 2 lbs 3 onces. In my opinion that is crazy! He has also started smiling a lot. Last night we had an almost giggle.
Time is flying by so quickly, he is growing so fast. I am truly trying to enjoy all these stages cause its going to be over so soon. One of the areas that I struggle are with being up a lot some nights. I enjoy my sleep too much and when I don't get it I am a mess the next day. I am not fun to be around and I pity my poor kids. I am trying to make sure that I am proactive this time in the decisions that I make and not push myself too much. Last time I tried to do everything myself and ended up sick and really depressed. I have made some decisions that some people I am sure think is crazy. But you know what I am enjoying my baby this time. I am happy this time. I have only had a few number of days where I have felt really weepy. I have taken charge of my body and my schedule and that feels awesome! I have allowed friends to come and help me out, although it was a very humbling thing to do in the beginning.
I am thoroughly enjoying being a mom of two. I look forward to the coming months and watching them to continue to interact more and more. I truly feel very blessed.

How Life is going 6 weeks after

Well I feel like life has definitely started to have a normalcy. It has been really neat and amazing to see how God has changed Jabez's heart for his little brother. He is learning to love on his brother and help me with many little tasks around the house. It is kind of hard yet to get my days going sometimes. I feel like I get nothing done but change diapers and feed kids, but that really isn't all true. In the six weeks since having my second born i have canned applesauce, peaches, and salsa, with the help of friends of course (I have no idea how I would do something of this extent on my own with 2 babies!!!!!). It has been a blessing having friends being willing to help me even though it was very humbling to have to ask for help with things.

It was fun to watch Jabez this weekend with his cousin who just turned 1 at the end of last month. It took them a little to warm up to each other but Jabez soon become loving and helpful with him. He was even pretty willing to play with him. I am looking forward to how the boys learn to interact with each other the older Dakota becomes.
Dakota has started smiling already and he is getting so big. We have moved him up to 3-6 month clothing already. We have our 6 week check up on Tuesday of this week. I am interested to see how much my baby has gained already. As time passes all to quickly, my baby is growing so fast. Oh how I love to see the little changes he continues to make.

"Crazy Love" book thoughts

Well we had our first meeting for the "Crazy Love" book a few weeks ago, almost 2 weeks ago in fact. I will have to say meeting with a group of women as I have said before is good. It took us a little bit to begin opening up with the questions that were asked but it did end up becoming a good deep conversation. One of the things that really stuck out to me was talking about how hard it is to live each day serving God with everything we have. How do we balance a life of family, friends, house, and just life in general but still live to serve God? It is a question we couldn't really completely answer. I find it really sad that I struggle so much with this but I think it is something that most of us deal with in our lifetimes. Until we come to grasp exactly how much God really loves us, we won't see much change. In our humanness I don't think it is possible to completely come to an understanding of God's amazing and infinite love. Our message at church this morning was actually on the verses in the Bible where it talks about "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your soul, and Love your neighbor as yourself." I think if we learn to love people more we can learn to love God more. If we chose not to avoid certain people who bug us but actually take the time to talk to them, isn't that a bit of loving our neighbor. How many of us purposely avoid a certain type or even a certain person cause they bug us? I know that I do. Anyway I have kind of gotten off topic. So I want to try to live life in a that is of loving people.
So onto to the second chapter that I just actually watched the online video for for the first time asked a question about "Am I really living my life in such a way that it shows that my life here on earth is just a vapor," as it talks about in the book of James. My question out of this again is, "How do we live our lives as if we could die at any moment?" I feel this kind of life would be like walking around on pointy stones all day long. How do you live this kind of life without living on your tiptoes constantly? Can anyone help me answer this question?
So now as this week approaches we continue you with Chapters 3 and 4 of this book. I have only briefly started reading it, but I will try to share my thoughts on this also.