Frustration...

It has been a couple of weeks since I have written anything. So I thought I should take a moment and write again.
We are still living in the basement of our friends house. Still waiting on the house we have been waiting on for a couple of weeks. I don't know if it will ever happen. We should know soon. Well that is what we have thought for weeks. We have received two verbal agreements but not a written one yet from the second mortgage holder. Is this really where God wants us or does he have some other place for us. This is a question that is staying pretty constant in my life over the last couple of days, weeks, months. We have been living in this basement for 4 1/2 months and for that I am grateful. I am thankful that our friends opened their home and took us in. It is greatly appreciated. They still seem to be ok with us being here more than I am ok with being here. I have broken 2 glasses, a bowel with chilli soup in it that went all over their white carpet and couch(which I was able to get out), and last week their candle holders. I am just so ready for my own stuff. Stuff that if I break I can deal with that on my own. I know I probably sound selfish and I am sorry for that. I am just ready to have a home to call my own once again. A place where it doesn't matter where or what I do to it. Its my problem then.
Well lets see...
Some other things that have been taking place. Jabez was sick for like 3 weeks straight and then I thought he was finally better and would be able to go into the nursery on Sunday....that is until he had major diarrhea on Saturday. He ended up staying home with daddy because we didn't want to give everyone else his diarrhea. Well he did fine on Sunday then. So I thank God for that. I am hoping that he will remain healthy now.
We received a gift card from the church for Edwin being on the worship team this year. What a blessing that was.
As the holidays are coming closer and closer I am wishing even more for my own home. What a blessing that would be. It would truely be an answer to prayer. I know that a couple of posts back I mentioned something about I was trusting God that we would be in our home by Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is almost 2 weeks away. Is it still possible. I don't know, but I want to continue to trust God with it.

Still waiting......

Well we are still at the spot of waiting. Waiting on God to do something about a home in our lives. I am becoming highly impatient. I want to be moved into our house by thanksgiving, and right now I don't know if it will happen. It has been two weeks since we received word that there was a verbal agreement on the table. I really thought a written agreement would soon follow all of this. I don't know what to think, whether we should again start looking at paint colors or should we wait. We started the last time we got the verbal agreement and then it all quickly went downhill. Is there any hope of moving forward anytime soon? Should we just go look for another house? I feel like we have been down that path at great length. I just don't want to go down it again, but do we need to? Is this something that we need to discuss? I hate it that we are so close, but yet so far away. I hate feeling out of control. I know that God is in control and that is a hard thing to trust sometimes. I think we (ourselves and the people we live with currently) are ready for things to move forward. I know that both families are ready for their own space once again. The option has been offered to just go ahead and move in but I don't want to take the chance of moving in and then it falling through. That would not be a good thing. I just don't know what to think. I am frustrated and impatient. I know that I need to just give it to God and that it will be alright but that is a hard thing for me to do.

Waiting

Waiting, waiting, waiting......
Waiting on a home of our own. Waiting on God's next step in our life. Waiting is just a part of life. I don't like waiting for things. I would just like everything to be right here, right now. But I guess you learn so much through the waiting process of life.
The most recent thing we thought that finally happened was getting the news on a house we have been waiting for. Last week, I believe it was, our realtor called us and let us know that the bank finally came to a "verbal" agreement on the house we have been looking at and waiting on. Let me take a moment to explain, we made an offer on a house, I believe back at the beginning of August, that is in a process called short-sale. From what I understand a short-sale is something that happens before a foreclosure. The owner of the property actually owes more to the bank then the property is worth, and from what I understand he is also behind on his payments. A very sad place to be. So anyway, you first have to get approval from the owner of the house and then you have to wait like weeks to months to hear an answer from the bank. The banks are overwhelmed with the number of homes going through the short-sale or foreclosure process, that is why it takes so long.
Anyway, we heard the news last week of this "verbal agreement" and we became pretty excited about it. We have started looking at paint colors for the hous. It is pretty crazy to think about the amount of time and things involved in redecorating, but it was really exciting.
Yesterday we got a call from our realtor again that things have changed. The bank that controls this mortgage has decided that they are no longer doing short-sales. Instead, they are packaging a bunch of the short-sale properties and selling them off in bundles to other institutions.
So you are probably wondering what does that mean for us? Well I wish I knew all the answers to this question. From what I understand the agreement is no longer there. It was just a "verbal agreement" not a "written agreement" so there is nothing binding them to this agreement. So we are back to waiting again.
I will be honest, I cried when I heard the news. It crushed my heart. I purposely didn't attach myself to the thought of getting this house in the beginning but once we heard that we got it, I got excited. Our wait was over. We were finally going to have a house again. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been horrible living where we have been living, but I am ready for my own living space.
So we are in this place again of waiting. Waiting for the house that we thought we had, waiting to move forward with this area of our life.
What is God doing through this? I don't understand why we have to continue to wait but I want to trust God that he has our best interests in mind. He knows the desire of my heart. He knows what I want, but somehow I feel that there is something more that He wants from us. Do I know what that is? No. Do I wish that I did? Yes. The only choice I have right now is to wait and seek God to see what he has for us.
I ask all of you my friends to be praying for us through this process. Pray that God would show us the next step in our lives. I just want to be faithful to God through all of this.
I do believe it is ok for me to voice how I am feeling because I believe God cares about what we are going through. I also have to keep God at the forefront of my thoughts. He is with me in this waiting. I just have to praise God for all the blessings in our lives at this current moment in time and that gets me back to the right perspective.

Life's Stesses

Why oh why do I let life stress me out so badly. I feel like the last week has been pretty stressful, especially the last 1 1/2 to 2 days. I just feel like I loose control of my emotional side of me and can't seem to find it again. It is usually the littlest thing that triggers me. What is going on? God what is wrong with me? Why do I let life stress me out so much? Why don't I just reach out and trust you through it?
Wow what a bunch of crazy questions running through my mind and heart. You know there are times in life where I feel completely out of control with my thoughts and emotions. I know I don't often take the time to think before I speak. I just snap at the smallest things. Where do I go with this area of my life. The only thing that keeps coming back to my mind is trusting God through it all.
Trusting God is a constant thing in my life that I need to keep a check on. I feel like there are times where I can completely trust Him, and the next time I am wondering how I got away from the trust I had in Him or how to trust Him in the situation. I know He loves me. I know He is my Abba Father, my Daddy, my Caretaker through every path of life. I just want to come to a place where I have a constant trust in Him. No doubts, no questions, and not necessarily any answers, just pure trust in the Lord Jesus Christ for who He is and what I are going to be taught through a certain situation.
So I place before you a challenge, in what ways can we come to trust God complete at all times through all of life's stresses? How can we maintain a constancy in the way we live our lives for Christ? Can we together find this path to complete trust? How do we just come to a place and say, "God I know that you are going to take care of us through this time. I am not even going to question you in this situation that I am going through, because trusting you is the sweetest thing I could ever do."
Lord this is the cry of my heart to come to trust you completely in every day whether it is good or bad, every situation that we run into throughout life, in relationships, among many other things in life.