Continuation....

Well I left off right where I got to meet my little guy. I can't even quite describe the moment to you because it was so sweet. It was the moment I had been waiting for and wasn't quite sure how it would be. I don't know that I have ever quite had such joy. I think it all goes back to all the pain we went through almost a year ago at this point. I just remember the pain like it was yesterday, but now I have a beautiful precious gift that God has given me. That is what I call my second born son, a beautiful precious gift from the Lord. My life has been through so much pain, hurt, and unknown in the last year that this is a time I can truly rejoice. God brought me through a pit of despair and now has brought me hope once again. I can't tell you what a blessing this time in my life is right now.
What has God taught me through all of this...
He taught me how to praise him in a really tough and hard time in life like I had never experienced before. He has allowed a good friend of mine and myself to start up a ministry to minister to those that have been hurt through miscarriage. He has given me a heart to be able to know what others experience when they face such a hard time.
He has also brought me through a very emotional pregnancy where all I could do was rely upon him for my every need. I had to reach out to him through this time like never before. I was filled with great fear in the first trimester cause I didn't want to go through a miscarriage again. I didn't think I would be able to handle it again. But once I got to hear my baby's heart beat I started to be able to relax. He also brought me through what was suppose to be my first baby's due date. It was so hard because I experienced every emotion through that time I think that was possible. I couldn't understand how one person could be so happy and filled with joy at one moment for what was to come and just a moment later be weeping in tears cause of what I had lost and would never get to meet here on earth.
Another thing that God has done through this is give me a great longing for the things of heaven. I have a baby up there that gets to be in God's presence every single day and that is where I want to be someday. I can't wait to meet my baby.
God has also given me a husband who has been very supportive through everything that I have been going through in the last year. He doesn't understand the emotions that I go through but he is there to hold me, to listen to me, and just caring for me. I couldn't ever ask for a more loving and supportive husband through all of my emotions.
I just want to praise God again for the wonderful gift of life he has given to us. Our baby is just such a blessing and I thank God for that great blessing. Things in our life have changed and we are learning to adjust to a life of 2 kids. Soon I will write and tell you what that has been like.