Week 6 of Makeover of the Heart

Well this is the final post in this series on this Bible study just finishing up over At the Well. Just some of my final thoughts on this journey is that I want to chose to let God have the complete control in my life. I want to place my total dependence upon him. I want to continue to be at a place where I search him out on a daily basis. I want to get to know my God more intimately. As I mentioned in a previous post two questions that I pray will stick with me in my life are that of "does this bring glory to God? Would this make God smile or would this make God sad? I again just challenge you in your choices and decisions that you make question what it is you are about to do and really see if it is something God would rejoice in. I want to bring joy to my Father. I want my life to bring joy to my Father. I want my boys to know the same joy that I have!

Makeover of the Heart Week 5- "A Prayerful Heart"

Once again I have taken part of Makeover of the Heart over At the Well. I love having something that takes me to the Word, something that helps keep my focus. Over the last 5 weeks this is what has been doing it for me. This past week, (yes, I am almost a week late yet again), our study was on a Prayerful heart. Our verse for this week was Psalm 37:7 "Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him."
Prayer for me is something that has always been close to my heart. For me it is that "connection" to God. Its that time where I can tell him all of my problems and lift up those who are close to me.
But the hard part about it is, it isn't always the first place I turn to when I am in need. It is so easy to pick up the phone and call or text a friend and tell her what is going on instead of first looking to God and seeing what he has to say about and even then its difficult to take enough time to sit and wait patiently for him. God's timing is perfect....its just not always the timing I am wanting. I am a seemingly impatient person.
I Thessalonians 5:16- 18 really paints the life of prayer that God wants us to have. "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Also Philipians 4:6 says "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.
Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." These are amazing verses but really hard to live up to. I guess this is one way we can continue to press on toward the goal of our heavenly reward.
We were asked to answer some specific questions about something difficult we have faced in our life and how have we responded to it? One of the most difficult things I have ever faced is the loss of a baby through miscarriage. In the midst of it I was angry at first, but in the back of my mind all I could hear were words to a song that we sang at church. It is entitled "Good to Me (I Cry Out)." From Vineyard Songs.
I cry out for Your hand of mercy to heal me.
I am week, I need you love to free me.
Oh Lord, my Rock, my strength in weakness,
Come rescue me, Oh Lord.

Chorus
For you are my hope, and your promise never fails me;
And my desire is to follow you forever,
For You are good, for You are good, for You are good to me.

I remember singing this song over and over and over again. Really clinging to God through every moment of it. God is good. He is the only one we should cling to. He is the only one we should turn to. Its so hard to remember this in the heat of the moment. I pray that God continues to awaken prayer in my life. I pray that I can continue to learn more and more about him.

Makeover of The Heart Week 4

Yup, I am still a bit behind on my study going on over At The Well on Making over our hearts. This weeks study was called "A Committed Heart." Our verse this week is Psalm 37:5 "Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."
What does committing to Christ mean? There were so many things that were hit in this past week's lesson that its kind of hard to remember it all. A lot of the study went back to scripture, II Timothy 2:22-24, Colossians 3:1-17, Ephesians 4:17-5:21, as examples. I think I read and read these portions of scripture. These portions talk a lot about how we should live when we chose to live for Christ. It talks about getting rid of all the old things in your life and living completely and wholly for him. It means putting all the bad attitudes, talk, language, temper; all that stuff away and chosing to put on love. Col 3:14 says that "And regardless of what else you put on , wear Love. It is your basic, all-purpose garment. NEVER be without it." In other words "God is Love," we are to never put him off and pick up our bad sinful habits. This seems totally impossible to do or be but we can continue to work our hearts toward this kind of living.
This lesson also talked about our choices we make and had several questions to help keep you in check. "Always remember, "DOES THIS BRING GLORY TO GOD? WOULD THIS MAKE GOD SMILE OR WOULD THIS MAKE GOD SAD?"
Wow, stunned was I at these questions. How much easier my life would be if I were to just take the time and ask myself these questions. I wouldn't constantly make mistakes of saying the wrong things, or doing the wrong things.
Lord, right now I pray that you give these words as a constant in my heart. I want to do only want honors you. I want what you want for my life.

Makeover of the Heart Week 3

This past weeks topic on Makeover of the heart was about "A Healed Heart." The verse for this week was "God heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
The topic was forgiveness. Some of the questions asked were :
Are there people in my life I need to forgive?
Are there any areas in my own life that I haven't forgiven myself for?

When I first went through this I really felt there wasn't anyone that I haven't forgiven. I feel like I am a person that can forgive and move forward relatively easily. But then I was talking to my mom the other day and realized that there are some family issues in the past year, ways that family has hurt my daddy. Seeing how my daddy has been hurt has brought feelings of anger and resentment, maybe even protection. I don't want to see my dad hurt like he has been hurt ever again by family. This is something that God will continue to have to work on to truly get me to a place of total forgiveness. I love my family but I can't handle them being hurt. Will you please join with me in prayer that I will come to this complete forgiveness.
Is there an area in my own life that I haven't forgiven myself? One thing that I have struggled with my whole life is blaming myself for whatever happens. Even in fights with my husband I have chosen in the past to blame myself for them. I keep hearing from him and others that I need to truly come to a place I know where my security is. My security needs to rest in Jesus Christ alone. So today I am being really vulnerable and sharing with you all here. If anyone has any suggestions on how I can come to this place because it is something that I really want God to work on and change in my life.
So ask yourself as you go are there any areas of unforgiveness in your hearts against others or even yourself. Let God really speak to you.

Makeover of the Heart Week 2 " A Heart that Delights in the Lord"

This week I once again joined At The Well on this Journey of Making over my heart. This week our challenge was A heart that delights in the Lord. Psalm 37:4 says"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." What does it mean to delight oneself in the Lord? To me it means finding God in your everyday life. Washing dishes, changing diapers, vacuuming, cleaning, making food, in relationship with friends and family around you. These are all opportunities to delight yourself in the Lord. It also means coming and sitting at his feet seeking out His Word, praying, and just listening to what he may be speaking to you, it may be sitting and listening to worship music. I want and desire to delight myself in the Lord. I desire to be his hands and feet. I desire to know him more. I have just recently been at this place where I am desiring more and more of God. I am excited for what he is doing in my heart and life.
The story of Mary and Martha in really convicted me this week.
Luke 10:38-42 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. ³⁹ Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

⁴¹ But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! ⁴² There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I want to learn how to sit at Jesus feet like Mary did. I want to be at a place in my relationship with Jesus that I am willing to stop and seek his face in the business of my day. I want to learn how to not worry about how things look around my house if I feel God is calling me to be with him. I don't want to miss anything he may have for me. You see, I see God seeking me to be with him.

I challenge you To Be, sit at his feet and soak him in. He is waiting for you.

Makover of the Heart

When you think of makeover what does it make you think of? For me a makeover makes me think of doing something to look better. I usually think of an exterior makeover, like a beauty makeover. Except this time I am talking about a heart makeover. I am talking about going deep into the depths of my heart and seeking out what God has for me. Seeing what way he can transform the mess that has been created there and help me to become more like him. This has been a desire of my heart for some time and now I am really partaking of an awesome opportunity. I am seeking God to make my "after picture" of my heart much more like His. I want and desire to get rid of the crust that has formed around my heart and to tear away at the walls that don't belong there.
In light of this desire I am excited to have joined this new Bible Study going on over At The Well called A Makeover of the Heart by Tracie Berta. I am excited because I feel like my heart needs a makeover in so many ways. I think this six week study will be a good challenge for me and am looking forward to what God will do in me.
She started out this week's study with a couple of questions for us to take and ponder and spend time listening to what God may have for us in these questions. So these questions were:
1. God’s Word says that “when we delight ourselves in Him, He gives us the desires of our heart.” Have you taken any time to ponder WHAT the desires of your heart are? What are your dreams? Aspirations? Hope against all hope? What are your passions? There is a wonderful song by Michael W. Smith called “Secret Ambition.” When I first heard this song, God awakened a desire in me to bring a woman’s conference to our church for the first time. He then drew me into a speaking ministry as He called ME to be the speaker at the conference. I had no idea that this passion was inside me until God awakened it. Ask God to awaken you to the secret desires of your heart…..the plans He has for you….the dreams He has given you.

2. Make a list of ways you would like to be transformed during this bible study. How do you want God to change you? What are your personal goals with this study? What are your personal expectations? Why are you reading this? What do you hope to accomplish? What are things in your heart that you want God to remove? What are things you want Him to place in your heart? How do you see yourself changed at the end of the six weeks? What drew you to the study in the first place? What does this “Heart Makeover” mean to YOU?

So I asked myself God what are those desires in my life, what do I have a passion for, what is stirring up in me....A desire of my heat is to be the kind of mom that my boys really see God at work in her life. I desire to live my life in such a way that no one questions who I serve. I desire to really know what I believe in(you know really have that answer ready about why I believe what I believe. I desire to have a constant growing relationship with the man God has blessed me with for the last 8 years (2 dating, 6 marriage). I have a deep passion for marriage and I would like to see God really grow that into something amazing and beautiful. I desire to see marriages blossom. I believe God can do miracles in the hearts and lives of those you wouldn't ever believe he could. I dream of taking my family on mission trips someday. I have a desire for them to see the things that really break the heart of God. I could really just continue with so much but I think this about all I am gonna share here on this question.
In the second question she asks what I want God to transform in my life in this study. One of the biggest things I would like to see God transform is the way I speak to others. I would really like to see God bring me to a place where I can learn to better control what comes off my tongue, where I can hold my rising temperature in check. I want to see God draw me closer to him and to come to know him more. I want God to teach me more of how to love him heart, soul, mind, and strength.
I am excited about this journey that God has me on. I am excited about the ignition he has placed in my heart. I am excited to see what God is gonna do. Thank you Lord for your faithfulness to finish what you have started.

Chicago

FIRST REAL TRAIN RIDE TO CHICAGO

NAVY PIER

DINNER AT A LIVE JAZZ CLUB

WALKING HAND IN HAND FOR MANY MILES AROUND THE CITY

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY

SWIMMING AT OUR HOTEL

PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AND HAVING EVERYONE ELSE DRIVE ME AROUND

FIRST EXPERIENCE OF THAI FOOD AT A LITTLE PLACE CALLED "DUCK WALK"

LIVE EXPERIENCE OF THE BLUE MAN GROUP

WALKING MANY MORE MILES HAND IN HAND

UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP!

That my friends is what sums up the weekend I had with my husband in Chicago.

Love is Patient

I have been meeting with the ladies in my small group on a somewhat regular basis talking about our struggles in our marriages, what is good in our marriages, and how we can bless the man that God has placed in our lives. At our last meeting we started talking about I Corinthians 13:4-7 and about what love is and what love isn’t. We decided to challenge ourselves to try and really see what the Word has to say about each aspect that is mentioned in this section of scripture and also to challenge ourselves to really live out these aspects of love in our marriages and personal life.

So the first thing that is mentioned is that “Love is patient.” I took some time to look up this portion of the verse in several translations and most just say “love is patient.” So I also looked up the Webster’s dictionary definition is of patient. Being patient means bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint, manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain, not hasty or impetuous, steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity. I also decided to break down this definition some more. I looked up what it means to manifest forbearance. Manifesting forbearance means to show self-control. Wow what a statement. We are to show self-control when we feel we are being provoked, which means when something is said it arouses a feeling that can come out in anger and distaste.

I fail at this, not only in my marriage but also with my children. Patience is something that I lack a great deal of in my life. This is when I evaluate how can my children learn about who Jesus is when I’m not actively showing the fruits of the Spirit. God is smacking me around right now with all of these things running through my mind. I am trying to bring it all together but it really is one big thing that God is working on in my life. If I am not choosing to be careful with the way I speak to my husband or children this is showing a lack of patience which is what love is and it is also one of the fruits of the spirit. Something that was said last night at the ladies meeting through my friend was a verse that talks about how our words can be life or death to someone. I found a verse in Proverbs 18:21. The NLT says The tongue can bring life or death, those who love to talk will reap the consequences, the amplified version says that Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life,] and The Message says that Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose. Can I say conviction, conviction, conviction!

How do I live this out? How do I come to a place where I am so conscious of the words I choose that it only brings life to others? If we as the people of God really took this to heart we wouldn’t be in this place of where we wonder how others are going to see the fruits of the spirit or how we are impacting the lives of our children everyday. We wouldn’t be in a place of hurting people because of something we said. This is where patience is a vital part of our lives and how we live.

As I close today I am going to leave you with some other scriptures on patience.

Romans 2:4 Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can't you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

Romans 12:9-12 And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. Don't just

pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is

good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other

Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble and keep on praying.

Eph. 4:1-2 Therefore, I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your love.

II Thes. 3:5 May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.

II Tim 2:24 A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.

James 5:7-8 Dear brothers and sisters, be patient as you wait for the Lord’s return. Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring. They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen. You, too, must be patient. Take courage, for the coming of the Lord is near.

I Pet 1:5-7 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, ⁶ and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, ⁷ and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.

Rev 2:19 “I know all the things you do. I have seen your love, your faith, your service, and your patient endurance. And I can see your constant improvement in all these things.

Possible Mind explosion

Here I am at almost midnight. Thoughts are racing their way through my mind. I feel I have no control over them. The shut off button is not in site.
Tonight was my lady's group meeting. We have recently just been allowing one person at a time share about what God is doing in their hearts and minds or something along that line or coming up with a service project, really anything we feel compelled to do. Anyway tonight hit way close to my heart. My friend that was sharing was talking about how our words we use are either life or death. She was speaking about how her brother had impacted her in this area of life. This is a huge area that God has been working on my heart in.
And then kind of stemming off of this subject is the subject of the Fruits of the Spirit. Lately I have also been processing how my life reflects the beauty of the Lord to my children. I see such ugly stuff in my character, things that are definitely not reflecting the fruits that God says we should reflect. It makes me really sad to think of where I am and the responsibility I have as mommy to train up my children in the ways of the Lord. How can they really learn who God is if I don't really show his characteristics, his fruits.
Marriage is another subject that has been close to my heart for a number of years but more recently since we have taken over as leaders in our small group. Tonight a friend came to our lady's group who is going through a very difficult situation with her soon to be ex husband. It makes me sad to see someone else's marriage destroyed by divorce. But more than that I have started reading this book called "The Wholehearted Marriage" by Dr. Greg Smalley and Dr. Shawn Stoever. Maybe someday soon I will post on what I am learning through it.
Another thing I have been working on and involved in is an accountability group off of our small group that meets. Our small group's focus is on marriage. So we are taking a challenge of really digging into "what love is" out of I Corinthians 13. So far it has been good for me to do this digging. I have thoughts that I want to put together from this study and I would also like to post on this in the weeks to come and share with all of you what God is showing me through this challenge. I hope we can keep up with this challenge.
So now as my day comes to a close I am choosing to place all of these things into God's hands and let him continue to work on me because he will be faithful to complete what he has started.

Harry the Worm, and Roger the Mouse

Most of as a child had a favorite teddy bear, blanket or doll that we slept with. This past weekend my boys stayed with their grandparents while we went to the beach with some friends for some time away. They came home with these little worm things. Dakota, my youngest, has become greatly attached to this toy. He is so attached in fact that he is crawling everywhere with it and sleeping with it. He gets this smile of great contentment when he sees it. It brings a smile to my face every time I see how happy it makes him. So for him its not something really cuddly, at least not in my opinion. My husband and I decided the worm needed a name and thus he became known as Harry!
My older son has a little stuffed mouse that has become his sleeping buddy. It comes from a really great friend of mine who got it because she got her daughter one. One day I was asking him what his mouse's name was. He pops up with Roger. I have no idea where he came up with the name but it has stuck. I have a picture of his mouse but not one of Jabez with his mouse. One of my favorite things is when he is holding Roger and says "I love him." I think its adorable.
I love watching my boys love on inanimate objects. I just have to think that it will one day click for them to love each other like they love their favorite toys.

Tongue of Fire

The thought going through my mind right now is "out of the mouth, the heart speaks." So many times I come to a place where I realize how my mouth gets me into trouble. I lack the ability to hold my tongue and end up hurting others all to often. Its a choice that I haven't been making. Here is one of the verses that kind of talks about what I am thinking. "It's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth." Matt 15:11
I keep running over in my mind that if I am to be salt and light to the world, including most importantly my boys and close friends and family, and I am having an attitude like this how is that suppose to show them who God is. If I don't have fruit yielding from my own life, how are they suppose to. I am a hypocrite. Just tonight I was talking to my oldest about the fruits of the spirit and how we should have them in our lives with our siblings, and then i turn around and use harshness yet again tonight towards a close friend.
There is another portion of scripture that is on my mind tonight and that comes out of
James 3:1-12, NLT.
Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. ² Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.

³ We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. ⁴ And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. ⁵ In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. ⁶ And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

⁷ People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, ⁸ but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹ Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ¹⁰ And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! ¹¹ Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? ¹² Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.

My heart breaks tonight as I have again began to realize where I have failed yet again in this area of my life. Will I ever get it. Will there ever be the change there needs to be. I hate this part of me but do I hate it bad enough to do something about it. How are my children ever suppose to see who Christ is if I have this quick fiery tongue that doesn't in any way show who God is or any of his characteristics. How do I have the right to tell my child we need to be showing the fruits of the spirit when I don't even live them out. I am so frustrated.

Blueberries!!!!!

Last week I went blueberry picking with my really good friend. We went Monday and Friday. Monday we went to this little family owned business not too far from our town. We were there for nearly 3 hours and we picked about 14 pounds between the two of us.Friday morning we thought we would like to go again and try it because we didn't feel we had enough blueberries to last us through the winter. We also went to a blueberry park that was a bit farther from home but it was oh so worth it. We started out our morning my climbing unto a little tram thingy and they took us to where our blueberries were to be picked. We got there and they assigned us to 10 bushes. We picked those 10 bushes and then asked for more bushes so we could finish what we wanted to pick. We both had carried two buckets out with us but I don't think either of us intended to fill both full. But as we were set at our second area to pick, the lady told us to finish out the row. Finishing out the row was probably about 10-12 bushes. We both are the type of people then when asked to do something or shown to do something we work hard until the task is completely. By the end of these bushes we had two buckets each entirely full of blueberries. We came home with nearly 42 pounds of blueberries that we picked in four hours. We also has some nasty sunburns. Below are the pictures of our yummy blueberries!

Video of Dakota's 1st Birthday Party

Dakota is 1

My baby is one today. It is so hard to believe how incredibly fast this year has gone. He is such a happy little guy who is such a blessing to our lives in so many ways. We still only have one word but that is "mama." I didn't hear mama from Jabez until he was over 2. It was a sound that was hard for him, not entirely sure why, but thanks to 1st steps he seems to be where he needs to be now!Anyway back to Dakota. He is a handful, way more than his older brother was at his age. He gets into anything and everything. He is standing but still not walking, but again his brother didn't walk until he was 16 months old. So here are some pictures I thought you all might enjoy. This is Dakota from the day he was born.
This is Dakota with his daddy and brother at about 3 months old. And this is my little man at about 6 months.So now we have come to the day, actually the day after, (his birthday party was actually about a week early), where my baby has hit the 1 year milestone. I can't believe it.
My handsome little man before he got his hair cut. I love this picture. His little smash cake. These two are what was left after he smashed his cake. I have never seen a baby so eager to grab at their cake like Dakota did. It was so fun to watch. I have a video of it but haven't been able to get it to load right, so for now pictures will have to do.

What kind of soil are you?

Over the last month I have been teaching Sunday school for the 6-12 year old class in church. I started my month by looking online for what I wanted to teach. I came across a 4 week lesson on The Parable of the Sower found in
Matthew 13:3-9,18-23
He told many stories in the form of parables, such as this one:

“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. ⁴ As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. ⁵ Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. ⁷ Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. ⁸ Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! ⁹ Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”

“Now listen to the explanation of the parable about the farmer planting seeds: ¹⁹ The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message about the Kingdom and don’t understand it. Then the evil one comes and snatches away the seed that was planted in their hearts. ²⁰ The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. ²¹ But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. ²² The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced. ²³ The seed that fell on good soil represents those who truly hear and understand God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!”

It has been an interesting journey going through a four week lesson on this parable. Each week we talked about the different types of soil and what that meant for people hearing about God. I mean it has been good to hear but today just kicked my butt. We talked about the seeds that fell among the good, fertile soil today and that the seed that falls here represents those who really hear and understand the word and produce a harvest.
This is where God hit me. I was talking to the kids about what it means to have fertile soil. I started talking about the fact that we need to really be choosing to spend time with God if we were really wanting to be this good, fertile soil that God can really move and work in. The only way we as his people are gonna be good soil is if we really seek after God and become more like him.
This was the conviction for me. I personally haven't been taking that time to seek out being more like God. I haven't been reading God's Word on a daily basis let alone applying it in my life. How then is my life suppose to be an example to others if I am not even doing what God asks of me to get to really know him. Here I am teaching these little people about how we as Christians should be doing this and I am not doing it myself.
I used an illustration with flowers. I had a fake rose and a real rose. We did comparisons and differences between them and then we applied it to our lives as Christians. If we are true believers we need to live our lives seeking after God and the way that he lived. I feel like a fake believer sometimes because I don't apply the things that I learn to my every day life. I don't give God the time he deserves. I lack in a huge way with this. It hit me in a huge way. HUGE!!
I want to make a change and not just say I want to make a change but I really truly want to change. I want to make a choice of spending time with God everyday. More than just reading his scripture but also applying it to my life.
Another area that really hit me was the verse that they were learning for the month. It was out of Mark 16:15 He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation."
For this area of the scripture I used an illustration with blueberries today. I used blueberries to show how if we apply ourselves to telling others about Christ. If I tell one person about Jesus and what he has done and can do for your life and that person goes and tells someone else about Jesus how it can spread. It was unbelievable the impact it had on the students and myself. I think telling others about Christ is one of the most difficult things to do in life. God is really calling us to reach out and tell others about Jesus. To live our lives worthy of the call God has placed on it.
As for this week I am hoping that I really take some time with God and really seek what he is trying to teach me through this time in my life. I am praying that God would continue to show me how to have an impact on others lives and how to show them Christ. But most importantly I want to seek how God wants to use me in teaching my own little boys about Christ and what he has done for them. That is my highest responsibility right now outside of making sure that I am seeking God and making him be known.

You are Worth It

I have a friend who is really being challenged in life right now. Her husband has recently lost his job do to an injury that he has that doesn't allow him to continue in the position he had. Its an injury that could be in his way for work for the rest of his life. I can't imagine being told that I may have an injury that will keep from doing what I have known for my entire life. As a result of him losing his job, they have absolutely no income right now. The only thing that they have right now are food stamps. Everything else is just going by faith. They have had their bills come up due and so far it has been taken care of by people who love them. The other evening I was talking to my friend about this and she just broke down with how she was feeling about others taking care of them completely, that they can't do anything for themselves. She told me she feels worthless. I can't imagine feeling like you don't know where your next penny is coming from to get something you really need.
So last night I took some time to see what the Bible says about "worth in the Bible and shared several verses with her. So that is what I would like to do here.
And through your faith, God is protecting you by His power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see.
Matthew 10:31 Therefore don't be afraid. You are of more value than many sparrows.
Luke 12:7 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore don't be afraid. You are of more value than many sparrows.
1Pe 1:6-7 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

I don't get or understand what God is doing in their lives. He keeps showing that he is faithful to them in crazy ways. I find it awesome and amazing how faithful he has been to them. I always want to ask why He is allowing them to go through this really hard time in their life, something that has been ongoing for at least 3 years now. How can any one family continuously be hit over and over again. What are you trying to say God. What is the lesson you have in it, not only for them, but for us?
I am going to continue to lift this very precious family to God's heavenly throne that he would continue to supply all their needs.
Phil 4:19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
I am claiming this verse, along with others, over their lives tonight.

We are home

We have been home from the hospital since late Wednesday night/early Thursday morning, which ever way you consider 1 a.m.
Early Wednesday afternoon the doctor came in and checked on us and found out that Dakota hadn't been drinking anything as of yet. To me it was greatly discouraging because I really had in my mind before we left for the hospital that Dakota would be one of those that would just pick the bottle right back up. I was wrong. Dakota was one of those that chose to be stubborn about it. He was doing well enough otherwise that they moved us from the PICU to the regular PEDS floor. Unfortunately we ended up sharing a room with a very cranky 20 month old who was also recovering from surgery but he was post-op day 1. He was still in a lot of pain. I felt for him but man did it stress me out. I think we got put in a room about half the size and had to share it with someone else. By the time we got Dakota to take a little nap, I was so frazzled I thought I was gonna lose my mind. They actually place children/patients together who have similar problems....i.e. close to the same age, same sex, and both had had oral surgery.
So we took a bit of a break from the floor and went and got some dinner. It was nice to have a bit of a break. I thoroughly needed it. Once we got back into the room Dakota was awake and crying because he was with someone he didn't know. At this point he still completely refused to eat or drink anything except about 2 bites of jello earlier in the day. I also started praying and begging God at this time to allow Dakota to eat so that we could go home. I figured going home that night was no longer even a possibility since it was already so late.I decided to pull out the formula that we use for Dakota since he wasn't digging what ever they had for him. It was about 9:30 p.m. when he started taking his bottle. I was so shocked. He just kept at it until he had finished 3 ounces. I was so excited but I just knew that we would still have to stay because they wouldn't release anyone to go home so late at night. I was wrong. The nurse called the doctor and he said yeah let them go home. Wow! I was astonished!
So began the gathering together of our belongings, signing the beloved discharge papers, and then we were out of there.Since we have returned home, Dakota continues to improve every day in everything he does. Today we have eaten something at every meal. That is huge because that is another thing that he was refusing to do for me. I am thankful that he finally has had his procedure and that we are on the way to full and complete recovery. Below I have included several pictures from the day of/day after surgery.Here is Dakota and his daddy right before they took him back for his surgery.

This is right after we went in to see him for the very first time after surgery. He was pretty agitated until they placed him in my arms and then he calmed right done.


Here he is finally resting comfortably, or as comfortably as you can right after surgery.

This is him playing Wednesday morning with toys after waking up. He is still currently attached to all his wires, which became really hard to keep untangled as he went from one end of the crib to the other trying to play.

And here is my baby with one of his first smiles right before they released us to come home!

Day After Surgery

Well Dakota had his surgery yesterday and came through it really well. It has been kind of a rough road in recovery. He is still in the PICU as of this morning. I think that we will get moved to a different floor later today because all of his vitals seem to be running normal. The only thing that isn't normal is that he is refusing to eat. He hasn't had anything to eat in almost 36 hours and still refuses his bottle. We are just believing that he will soon begin to eat and that we will get to go home in the next day or two. Right now he is doing what he has been doing best, snoring! Once I get home I will be sure to post some pictures.

Dakota is 11 months

Well Saturday marked the day my baby turned 11 months. I always find it crazy how fast time goes. It almost seems like yesterday that I had a new born. I just love his contagious smile that he carries almost all the time when you talk to him, when he plays, or just in general. He is really into climbing into, over, and on all types of things as you can see below.



He has started letting go of a few things and stands for a few seconds. We still don't have many words. Just "mamamamama" pretty much. He is pretty interested in doing things with his hands. He is eating pretty much solid foods when we have a chance to feed it to him. It makes it kind of difficult when we seem to be busy all the time. I love watching his little jaw move up and down as he mushes food.
He still isn't taking a sippy cup, partially due to his cleft I believe. He just doesn't have the suction necessary to do it. That will all change tomorrow as he is scheduled to have surgery in Ft. Wayne at 10:30 am to repair it.
My best friend spent hours on preparing a notebook of verses talking about peace, fear, among other things. I am sad to say I still haven't taken any time today to look at it and dig into all the work she has done for me. I do really appreciate all the effort put forth on her part to prepare for me.I haven't really taken the chance today to think about tomorrow. I am trusting that I have come to the point where I have put my trust in God over the matter of my heart issues I had with my baby having surgery tomorrow. I pray that I can continue to keep a calm heart, mind, and spirit.

And just for kicks here is my absolutely adorable handsome little man, well older little man who is so absolutely amazing. I enjoy listening to him talk more and more proficiently. He is off spending time with his aunt tonight and for the day tomorrow. I am thankful for family who is willing to help when needed.

Buldging tire, Grumpy Baby, and a Whole Lot of Rain

This weekend we went to Wisconsin to go to a family reunion. On our journey there we decided to stop in Chicago for a couple of hours to walk around and get some lunch. When we were almost there we realized that "Taste of Chicago" festival was happening. So we decided to park near Millennium Park which was relatively close to where the event was happening. We walked around for awhile and then got some food there. To be honest, I wasn't greatly impressed with the festival. I thought it was kind of boring.
Anyway, we crawled back into the car and took off to get out of Chicago. Our "getting out of Chicago" took us 2 hours because the traffic was bumper to bumper the entire way.
When we stopped for gas we checked out our tires to see what kind of pressure they had going on. While the guys were checking them they found that one had a really huge bulge in its sidewall. We were still about an hour away or so from our final destination. At this same time we ran into some torrential rain falls, you know the rains we have been having for weeks it seems like. So we had to take it bit easy because of the tire and also because of the pouring rain. Once we finally reached our destination of where we were staying at we got out and unloaded. Some of our clothing got wet so we had to put it in the dryer so we could have it to wear.
Saturday we started by eating breakfast and then going and getting our tire changed so that we were safe to move about. We then went to the reunion and had a wonderful time. Jabez and Dakota got absolutely filthy. Dakota ate who knows what because I let him crawl anywhere and everywhere he wanted to go. It was easier then trying to keep him contained. By the end of the evening we were totally worn out and ready for showers and bed!
This morning we got up really early and took off for home because we wanted to beat Chicago's horrible traffic. It was amazing how quickly we got through today. I loved it. Today it also poured because we got right in the middle of all the wonderful storms that were passing through.
All throughout our journey Dakota was somewhat fussy. He had a harder time on the way home, then on the way up. He did a lot of screaming and crying. But once we finally got home and I got him out of the van and let him down inside it was like he became a different child.
So now the process of unpacking and washing all of our soaked laundry, due to our bag being on top of the van in one of those travel bags, and repacking to head to the hospital for Dakota's surgery has begun. We also have a few other things that we should look after before we head to
Ft. Wayne on Tuesday.
All in all, we had a really good weekend. I am thankful that we could go see family we haven't seen in 6 years.

Storms the word

It seems like our area has been hit super hard over the last several weeks with rain, thunder, lightening, wind, tornado watches and warnings, which resulted in a few tornadoes around here. The winds have taken down limbs, power lines,trees which have closed streets....you name it. We have also had some flash flooding I am sure.
Around our home we have been lucky enough to only have a few down limbs and leaves which have caused me to have to clean the yard both Monday and yesterday so that I could mow. I don't ever remember a season quite like this one. We have had our friends staying with us over the last 2 storms because each storm has left them without power and water. The first storm hit Friday, the second one Wednesday evening. It was amazing standing at the window and watching how the sky line changed and how the storm blew in. The trees were waving with some definite madness. Its been crazy.
Yesterday I spent some time with a friend driving around and looking at all the damage we had around town. So here are a few pictures of what our area has looked like over the last couple of days. Downed trees on power lines.

Many, many uprooted trees causing some major damage. This is just one of the many.



Part of a barn that ended up in someone else's yard during one of 4 tornado touchdowns in our county.

Here is what remains of the barn and all the debris around it after the tornado struck.

And finally here is a tree that came to rest on what looked like it was a fairly new vehicle.

As this weekend comes, we are heading out of town for a family reunion and they are calling for more storms. Guess we will see what comes.

A Bike Ride in the Rain....

A week ago Saturday our neighbors and our family took a bike ride on the pumpkin vine trail in Goshen. It started out nice, sunny, and beautiful. We biked from Goshen to Middlebury. We took the developed trail as far as it went and then hit the country roads on into Middlebury. We went and got ice cream at Mancino's/Ice Cream joint. It was a good break. By the time we got there it had started to cloud over a bit. We thought we would just wait out the storm, until it became clear to us that if were going to make it home in time we were gonna have to ride it out in the rain.
We packed the kids away in their bike cart that is equipped with a nice rain cover thankfully and set out for the ride home. I was wearing shorts and a tank top cause it was a hot sticky day. Let me tell you it was freezing ride on the way home with the rain coming down on us and the wind blowing around us. We took all the same country roads back to the developed trail and road the rest of the way back into Goshen. By the time we got home we were completely drenched, muddy, and my teeth were chattering because I was so cold. We had mud all the up the back of our shirts and into our hair. I thought it was quite disgusting but I didn't want to lose the look we had up our backs. So we stayed outdoors after we got home for a bit while Edwin came in and grabbed the camera for some quick shots.











All the while, the boys had fallen asleep in the cart on the way home and were crying their little eyes out. So we quickly took the shots, came inside and took showers and put the boys to bed. We finished our evening with a movie, "The Incredible's." I actually fell asleep in the middle of the movie and went to bed before it was over.
All in all it was a great time. I don't know that I would ever be willing to bike in the rain again like we did and get so nasty muddy and wet but it was fun while it lasted. I would bike to Middlebury again no problem though. That was a blast. Our round trip ended up being somewhere around 22.6 miles. It was a good ride and the next day I felt amazing.

A Matter Of The Heart

This year I have been working on reading through the Bible with a group of ladies holding each other accountable on Facebook. One of the challenges we were given during this time by one of the ladies was to not just read but to really let the words we are reading penetrate our heart. I know that are still many times I just read for the sake of getting caught up and getting my reading done but every once in a while I kind of get smacked up side the head. Several weeks ago was one of those times.
I was reading in 1 Chronicles 21 where it is talking about how David took the census and how this was a sin. At first I didn't really understand why taking a census was such a big deal. I even asked my husband about it cause it was really on my heart. Why would God get so angry at a man for counting his people. What was wrong with that.
So went back and reread the section and then talked about it. It says "Satan rose up against Israel and caused David to take a census of the people of Israel. " 1 Chron 21:1. I still wasn't understanding why a census in this situation was such a bad thing. Then my husband talked to me about David's heart behind the matter. He was taking a census cause he was wanting to know how great his numbers were so that he could brag about how great his army was. David's heart was taking pride in his numbers and starting to trust in numbers instead of Christ. Taking the census in itself wasn't the sin but it was the motivation of his heart behind it. It was his motivation for greed, arrogance, and selfishness that caused the census to be a sin.
How often are we moved my greed and selfishness to get what we want? I was just reminded here how important it is for us to check our heart motive behind what we are doing. A super huge challenge for me. I hope this also is a challenge to you.

A 10 Month old, a 4 year old, a 29 year old and a surgery...

Every now and again I get away from posting on my blog just because I feel like I really don't have anything to blog about or simply don't take the time required to blog! I get so caught up in the craziness of life and forget to stop and think. I sometimes think about the past when I first had Jabez and how much "time" I had to do the things I wanted to do even though I had a baby. It was because I was home all the time and had more time to get things done around the house. Now I think I have just gotten so use to being home that I fill my time with so many things! I hate how busy I am sometimes and really just wished I knew how to say no more often.
So what's new you might ask....
My baby is 10 months old. Where or where has the time gone.
1. He is moving and cruising everywhere.2.He is getting in to everything.
3.In the last month and a half he has pushed through 6 teeth and I think he has more coming through. Needless to say our nights have been a little more than crazy at times.
4. He says "mama" all the time. I absolutely love it.
5. He is a very brave little boy by climbing up onto everything in the last couple of days. Talk about giving a mama a heart attack as I watch him do these crazy things.
6. I gave him his first official haircut last week because his hair was down into his eyes and beyond his ears. It was a hard thing to do because I always think haircuts make them look so different and so much older.
7. He absolutely loves to crawl through the grass and be outside in the beautiful weather.
My best friend's daughter turned 4 on Saturday. Crazy!
I remember the day she told me she was pregnant. I was astonished because she was told she would never be able to get pregnant because of a health issue called poly-cystic ovarian syndrome(PCOS). The fact that she got pregnant was an absolute miracle. Her pregnancy going pretty much normal was also amazing. So we celebrated her little girl's 4th birthday with a party in her back yard and a pink Walle cake. It was fun to do yet another cake.
My husband turned 29. Yup that is right we will both be 30 next year. Enough said. We celebrated by going out to lunch with friends. He really seemed to enjoy his lunch.

And finally we are inching every close to surgery day for Dakota. I think the closer we are getting the more I have been feeling a little apprehension. I know that he will be taken care of. I just don't like the thought of my baby going through something like this. I want to and am trying to come to a place where I have fully placed my baby in God's arms. Please pray with me my friends that I do this. It is a very scary thing for me as his mommy to think about a surgery for my baby. I know some of you have been here and maybe you can give me some insight on how to remain calm, cool, and collected. That is my prayer.

Dakota is 9 months........

Well Dakota turned nine months on Monday and life just seems like it stays super busy with two little ones, both now mobile. Dakota has been crawling now for about 3-4 weeks I think. He is also pulling up on everything and getting into everything. So if you see my baby around with bruises its because he is trying to be a big boy.
Yesterday he did something that was really really scary. Jabez left the door open to our stairwell and I didn't know it. Dakota was crawling all over and I was working on laundry in my bedroom. The next thing I heard was a bang, bang, and then a loud scream and cry. I rushed to the kitchen to find my baby at the bottom of the stairs. I just have to say I know that God has his hand on my little guy cause all you can physically see on his little body is a little rug burn on his chin. We had him checked out and we have been told that he is totally ok. I can't thank God enough for watching out for my baby boy.
Today we returned to Ft. Wayne for an appointment with his plastic surgeon. It was a pretty open meeting. We talked about his past medical history and through any questions that we had. I feel pretty confident that this doctor will do an excellent job on our baby boy. We are looking at surgery for around the end of June, or that is what we know as of know. We will know more specifically in a few days I would hope.
On a different note, it is so fun to see Dakota trying all these new things he is doing but it is also hard. It seems like babies just grow up so fast that they are getting into everything before you can blink an eye. A friend of mine mentioned the other day that Dakota has been out as long as he was in. In a way that kind of makes me sad, not because I want another baby right now, but because of how fast time goes.
Then I think of the responsibility God has placed on our lives to nurture these little ones to become like him. So often I am in tears at this because so often I fail to show Christ and his love in the right way. I just keep praying that God would continue to help me grow in mothering my 2 wonderfully precious little souls to become more like him.

A Year Has Come Full Circle

A year ago I set out to do something that I never have done before. It was fun to try and figure out a cake for my son's 2nd birthday just because. So I set out at decorating my first cake by myself. My son was really enjoying turtles at this time last year so I got online and looked up a recipe for making a turtle cake.










So I was talking to a friend about how much I enjoyed making my first cake, since then we have joined forces in making cakes for different things. This was Dora we made for her daughter's 3rd birthday.




Cake # 3 was of a princess cake. We used a little Tinker Bell doll for this little princess cake. This cake was quite the trip. We had a lot of fun trying to figure out how to keep her standing up in the middle. We tried frosting, tin foil, tooth picks, and then I think we finally settled using a baby food jar lid with the doll wrapped in tin foil. The unfortunate part of this process was that every time we had to get her out of the cake it caused the cake to separate. This little lady is held together with a lot of tin foil believe it or not.

We had a creative food contest for a church at the park day last fall. So we decided to take a picture of the man behind the inspiration for the contest and put him on the cake. So my friend's husband took a picture that we printed off and then drew a larger picture on a piece of paper and then he took it and used a tooth pick and sketched it onto the cake. We then just filled it in with frosting. And there you have it, "the Keis" cake.







This cake you are looking at is what we call a
rainbow cake. We took 2 cake mixes and split
it into 6 different cakes for the different colors of the rainbow. In between each layer was frosting. So the picture to the left is what the cake looked like once it was cut open. It was a lot of fun.





So now we have finally come back to my son's birthday. He turned 3 on April 4th but we didn't actually celebrate it with a party until this past Sunday with friends and family. Saturday my friend and I spent the day making a Thomas the train cake for my son. He is completely and totally enthralled with Thomas. It was a lot of fun.













I don't know what it is about cake decorating, but I have really come to enjoy it. It is a place where I can be creative. It is a good thing cause being creative is something I don't feel I am really good at.

Karston Lukas

Last Saturday, (because I have been so busy and not been able to get to writing this) my husband and I took the opportunity to go see our precious new nephew who at that point was still in the hospital trying to recover from the meconium he had aspirated into his lungs before birth. It was a really great time with my husband's sister and husband and their baby, Karston Lukas. When we were there they had just moved from an incubator to a crib. That is huge progress meaning he was being given less oxygen then before. He was still under the oxygen tent and had a nasal cannula.
It was a good time of talking, loving, and sharing. />We also took the time to pray for him and them. I just can't imagine how stressful a time like that would be on your marriage and family life.
This morning I am happy to share that little man Karston is now resting safely at home with his family. They released him from the hospital on Friday afternoon with an oxygen tank at low dose at home for the next 3 weeks. He has come a long way but he still has a distance to go. Please join us as we continue to pray for complete healing in his little body. May God completely and totally restore health to his little body.